The Mother Pearl…

As rare as they are beautiful, the pearl is the Queen of gems, and the gem of Queens. These gems reach exceptional size because they are layered with strength. It is the interior of the shell that produces the beauty. I lost my Queen of gems this week.

Someone is depending on your vision. Someone is waiting for you to be exactly who you were designed to be. In order for you to be exactly who God called you to be, you must find hope in your brokenness. It is your connection between what died inside of you and what now lives inside of you. Don’t let what you expected keep you from enjoying what God wanted you to experience. Never resent the stuff you have to go through or the seasonal people you have to learn from. I know that some people will tell you what you ought to be based on what they feel you should be, but there’s vision that God put inside of you. I have always had a love for people and over the years I have turned into a social media fanatic. In high school, I realized God gave me a gift to speak to people in a way that they would want to listen to me. Although I knew my gift, I came in contact with so many dream-killers; people telling me what I love would never flourish and be great. They told me I would never make money majoring in communications, and that I spend way too much time on social media. Dream-Killers encouraged me to work in the IT field, to be a CNA, and to be an elementary school teacher. I respect ALL of those positions, but those have nothing to do with the vision inside of me. When I realized they couldn’t see the vision in me, I decided that they were not allowed to be connected to me. You will not speak death into me and then try and reap the benefits of me following my dreams. They tried it..*in my Tamar Braxton voice*. But as many people as I had speaking death into my dreams, I had double speaking life into me. It was the people who text me late at night, called me in the middle of the day, sent me a FB message or random tweet that made my vision come to fruition. Some people only want you to be what they can handle you being; they are fearful of you being greatER than them. Disassociate yourself from small thinkers…they add no value to YOU. You need people of faith, influence, encouragement and love on your team. No time for doubters. Often times we glance at people’s exterior and wonder why we aren’t blessed to be them, but if we examined our interior, we would realize our own life is the real blessing.

Before a pearl is formed, it starts off as irritating grains of sand -abuse, lies, disrespect, confusion and bitterness. It is covered with a smooth coat of nacre -strength, wisdom, courage and power. The nacre cuts down the irritating grains, forming it into a beautiful pearl. Accept that there will be some cutting….You will be cut deep. You will experience pain that makes you want to collapse and give up all together. You won’t give up though. You’re too strong. I can feel it. I can assure you what will form from your pain will be something indestructible.

On February 3, 2014, my mother passed away. Was I shocked? Absolutely. To me, my mother was invincible. She could handle anything. She always bounced back! I wasn’t really prepared for death. We had a special bond. When she would get sick, I would fly to Atlanta and immediately she would get better. When my aunt called me and said “She was tired, Darian. Her heart just stopped”, I immediately felt like a robot. I couldn’t feel, think, move or speak. She was gone…..who knew the year of my birthing season; the season God opened doors to places I can only imagine, my mother would leave me. I needed her to see my book published, I needed her to be here when I started my business this year. I needed her in DC for my graduation. I needed her at my wedding. I needed her in the hospital room when I gave birth. I still needed her and she was gone. I was in complete shock. But, I told you all before…I know how to seek God now. He quickly gave me peace. He quickly reminded me that she was with Him and she was full of joy. The next day I stopped trying to understand. God gave me peace that surpassed all understanding. I am ok. I’m crying as I write this because she’s not just my mom, she’s a friend, a confidante, a teacher and the woman who introduced me to God. She is my baby. But, what is getting ready to come from this pain is something that will help change the perspective of others.

It was because of her blindness that I was able to dream as a little girl and grow into a woman with a vision. It was her immobility that gave me strength to walk into my destiny. She always said I was her “eyes and ears” ….What she couldn’t do, God gave me the ability to do it! He was showing me gifts and He was building me up through her pain. She had to go through so that I could GROW through. She suffered so I could survive. She did not allow 16 years of physical discomfort to break her spirit because she knew there was purpose in her pain. It was her perseverance that allowed me to prosper!

What she sacrificed for me was no indication of what I truly deserved. She saw something in me before I even realized there was something inside of me. She saw the fight. She saw the ambition. She saw the love. She saw my beauty. She saw my pearl forming. She saw what she created and was proud and honored to be my mother. I am sad today, but I’m healing.There are so many people depending on my vision. They need their irritating grains of sand to transform into a pearl, and it takes someone with vision to help others prepare for their transformation.

With love,

Darian